NBTD

Brief update

Here are the updates since last time i posted:
1. Started working as a facilities exec at PGB-TOD-Kertih RO.
2. Lived with shak & pian in a single storey terrace in Tmn Murni Perdana, Paka (22kms from my office).
3. Went new places, met new people,and FOOD! (which increased my appetite lately xD)
4. Fell in love with a local indie artist, Yuna (with her songs actly)
4. Registered TMnet Streamyx & ordered (and already received) a rm220 wifi router...but its already two weeks and TM havent installed the telephone line yet!!
5. Experienced a MAJOR prob with an important document posted using Pos Express....damn.
6. Made JFX "hotter" in the eyes of jpj & traffic police =P
7. Found a special sumone who became my gf, and made me happy =)
8. Changed to Maxis postpaid, and made it my primary number (since DG coverage in Kertih sux)
9. Going to my first outstation for training in Segamat, where i will meet some of my ex-UTP fwens.

Peekaboo!

Its been a while since i last updated this blog. I've been very busy with a few things lately and i cant find a time to sit down and do it. I'll share more on what they are, but before that I'd like to announce (to those who still dont know) that I'll start working in Kerteh with PGB starting next month, which is only a couple of days away. Received a call from HR on the 18th, and got the offer letter the day after. Was really relieved to receive the job offer after four months of planting grapes. At least i can have a stable income, compared to the income i get from repairing customer's PCs and laptops.

Everyone have goals in life, and this job is a stepping stone for me to get to mine. No, i dont plan to stay in that company for the rest of my life, but at least i'l stay there for 10 years for the sake of the contract. Its a large company with a lot of competition (read: colleagues), so its kinda hard for me to climb up my career ladder. I can opt to live a simple life, doing the same routine job, staying at the same career level, for the next 10 years of my life but I dont want to! That wont take me to the goals that i've set up, one of which is an e46 by the end of 2010 :D

Due to this, i dont think i can go online often for the next couple of weeks. At least not until i've subscribed to streamyx or any wireless broadband....damn i cant live w/o the internet.hahahaha..

I'l be staying with shark and pian, who have already started working there for more than a month. Its nice to have some friends in a place which i am not familiar with. I'l feel more at home with friends around :)

Say hi to kerteh, and goodbye to late night lepak at mamak, late night BT/Hyjal raids, and late night CoD4/DotA...

I'd like to thank my friends who have been with me this past 4 months.  Zamree, Ekal, Ediph, AP, Shafiq, Afiq, Im, Epul, Fathi, Dudud, Bangah and Bulu (sowi if i missed out some names). You guys are really fun to hang out with. Honestly when i was still studying, everytime i go back home to JB i'l get bored, coz i've lost contact with most of my friends here. The first few weeks of grape planting was bored like hell, until i started hanging out with u guys. I'm really glad i met u guys, and i'l try my best to keep in touch!

I'm already starving, so i guess i'l cut it short here. Juz fyi JFX had gone some minor facelift. Will post the pics up in my fs. And to zamree, goodluck with VirtualCore and Teeya!

Reminiscence

The other day, i was surfing and doing whatever i do in front of the pc when a familiar song played in my playlist. It did take me a few moments to recall that it was a song which i dedicated to a very good friend of mine after we had a fight. U know who u are :)

Here are the lyrics of "Forgive Me" by my all time fav band, Evanescence.

Can you forgive me again?
I don't know what I said
But I didn't mean to hurt you

I heard the words come out
I felt that I would die
It hurt so much to hurt you

Then you look at me
You're not shouting anymore
You're silently broken

I'd give anything now
to kill those words for you

Each time I say something I regret I cry "I don't want to lose you."
But somehow I know that you will never leave me.

'Cause you were made for me
Somehow I'll make you see
How happy you make me

I can't live this life
Without you by my side
I need you to survive

So stay with me
You look in my eyes and I'm screaming inside that I'm sorry.

And you forgive me again
You're my one true friend
And I never meant to hurt you

Single again

Title is self explanatory. Happened last week after i've done much thinking. Reasons are:
1. Someone already asked for her hand in marriage
2. It was an irrational relationship
3. I dun want a gf at the moment (want scandals only :P)

p/s-she's not my scandal.she's juz a friend.a very good friend :)

Devastation ;p

I know I promised to elaborate on the last entry, but due to some reasons I cant (read:lazy :P). Well, maybe a little... I went to Shah Alam and met with some friends. They were Shah, Zarep, Issey, Ijam, Pendy, and some others (sorry guys if I misspelled ur names). It was the first time I meet them, as they were only virtual friends in WoW!

I played WoW in a private server called Demetrox Core Server. The players there were mostly Malaysians, but there were also some from Singapore, US, and even Czech! The server's based in Singapore and maintained by a group of dedicated admins from Malaysia.

Its not bugged as much as other private servers that i played, the GMs are most of the time around to assist and help players, and the raids are challenging and fun! The bosses are not entirely melee (they have skills!), and are tuned to the players' skills. Which means that when the admin team feel that the bosses are too easy, they will bump the bosses' skills a bit to give the players more challenge.

Events, raids, battlegrounds...there's lots of things that I wanna tell about Demetrox Core, but I guess its better if u guys go to their website itself and see here.

p/s-ajuk, nk s3 pls! aku dh promote server ko! :P

That's all for this entry, but before that..to someone:
I've sumthing to say to u but not that much. Yeah we never had anything going on officially..u were only my client and our contract ended last year :P Nonetheless, there were some complications after the contract period, and I admit it was my fault for misunderstanding. Am sorry for all that. The other day I told u dat I wanted to forget u entirely, but i think it doesn't really matter now as there's no more ache inside. but one thing's for sure: u've opened up my eyes and changed my view to life, and i thank u for that. no hard feelings :)

7day recap

30th march - penat.ngantuk.xde mood, n sebagainye.kenapela panas sgt kat sini...hai
29th march - got excited for sumthing which never came.but instead sumthing else brightened up my day.thx :)
28th march - hanged out wif frenz.had fun.lots of fun
27th march - met frenz from demetrox core server: shah, zarep, issey
26th march - worked hard for the upcoming weekend
25th march - played frenly match of dota wif neo (read: ownage lol)
24th march - forgot already :P

that's all.hahahaha.malas nk tulis in detail.prolly later

holding back tears

i hate nagging
coz i hate being nagged at
but i juz cant help it
coz it hurts so much when i think about it
i try to convey it clearly
but is it so hard to understand?
until i hav to say it over and over again
is it tiring hearing me complaint?
i guess so, coz i'm tired myself
i was told not to think much about it
but that's the same as telling me to become ignorant of my own feelings

can i be cold to people?
yes i can
can i ignore people?
yes i can
can i forget about people?
yes i can
can i be insensitive to others?
yes i can
but i cant be like that to u
and i dont know y

i'm selfish i'm oversensitive
i know that
i hate myself
but like u said: who doesnt?

i wish i can make things simpler and not complicated
and i'll try to
eventhough it hurts

Do do doo..

She was my once in a lifetime
happy ending come true
I guess I should have told her
I thought she knew...

She said I took her for granted
that's the last thing I would do
I'll never understand it
'cause I thought she knew...

I thought she knew my world revolved around her
My love light burned for her alone
But she couldn't see the flame
Only myself to blame
I should've known
I should've known..

A heart full of words left unspoken
Now that we're through
I'd sell my soul to have this silence broken

I thought she knew my world revolved around her
My love light burned for her alone
But she couldn't see the flame
Only myself to blame
I should've known
I should've known..

She was my once in a lifetime
happy ending come true
I guess I should of told her
but i thought she knew
I thought she knew
I thought she knew...

p/s - pointless entry this time :P

unrequited luv (wth is dat anyway?)

lol i juz like posting entries like the previous one.makes ppl wonder wuts going on hahaha.sorry for not commenting anything about it, so i'l make it clear in this entry.

that was a gtalk chat log between me n sum1 a few days back.its exactly as wut u guys read it (i had 2 delete sum parts wic might reveal her identity :P). seems desperate? lol i think so too. but what the heck, she's my gf now ahaha~

the next day (of that chat) both of us discussed about it, and decided to go for it.well, there were several "terms and conditions" that were agreed upon, one of wic is we both were 2 care for each other, but cant control wut the other is doing. in other words, i can still date other gurls and hav fun anyway i like, and the same goes for her.

i know some might think that this is nonsense. actually..me too.. the idea of having a gf, but not having any emotional feeling for her is selfish, sick, or wutever u guys might call it.

in fact i already told her that my heart is wif sum1 else, and she openly accepts that. i DO care for her, but still only as a friend. and its the same wif her. i dont know when i will develop some feelings for her, or whether i will hav those feelings or not.

hopes? i dont want 2 put any in this rltnship. coz i dont want it to get complicated, as i already hav with another "open relationship". fyi i wont be revealing who she is, or giving any hints :P we'l juz wait for the right time. if both of us get along well in this couple of months (and if i get to forget the one my heart is stuck wif), we'll announce it. but it'll be against the odds, sort of 30-70..

lastly,i hope u're alright wif me writing this dear (referring to gf) :P this is wut i really feel. and to the other person...wut i wanna tell u is quite personal to be written here, so do pm me.

Confessions of a ________ heart (fill in the blanks urself)

her: 
fahmi!!!

me: 
ye!
sowi i gi bli mknn td~

her: 
erk
sowi..i gi mknt dik
:p

me: 
;p

her: 
haha
how are u?
hehee

me: 
im missing u
hihi

her: 
missine me?
eh..salah eja
hahaha
tibe2 leh miss me ka

me: 
mmg..
lame dh..

her: 
erm
lame..
tk penah ckp pun
eh jakas
ko cmne skrg?
single ke? dah de buah ati?

me: 
ko la buah ati aku
hihi

her: 
ceh
aku nak ngurat ko nie
hahaha
tknak..sudah

me: 
ala
ye la
aku tgh layan la ni

her: 
haha
tol2 la
nie tol2 nak ngurat
tol2 punye
jom kapel
haha
tgk..diam...ye2 la tu..layan aku..tah bape byk window ngan awek ko tgh bukak tu

me: 
erk
sowi dear i gi mkn td
ko
seyes ke?
sat
aku kne pk dlu
tp ko kne trime ar aku suke lyn ponpuan
agaga

her: 
erm...ala..tkmo la..dulu kan ko ckp....tk mungkin ko suke aku
ingt tak?
haha

me: 
aku xkn suke
but
bole je nk kapel
kakaka

her: 
takkan suke?
tpi nak kapel?
hahaha
wat pe?
tpi..kalo org tnye..ko de awek ke tak..ko claim ko single agik
tk bes la..nanti..im nothing la..tkde any significant langsung dlm life ko
tk besh
haha

me: 
lol
aku
tgh men game
nk ckp psl bende ni
nnt sat k

her: 
men gem..ceh..cmtu abaikan je
:p

me: 
ko kene paam la
nnt jd awek aku
mmg aku x lyn sgt kalu tgh men game lo
;p

her: 
haha....dun weri.......
gi2..men gem
syuh3
haha
:p

me: 
umm
aku paste chat kite kat blog bleh? ;p

her: 
erk
oih
jgn
haha
leh
tpi hide my name...
haha

her: 
laju nya kamu
hahaha
still men gem ke?

me: 
yerp hehe
saba ye yang

her: 
yeah..sori to disturb...tot...u were blogging..suddenly ur blog adress kuar...sori yeah..papai`

me: 
erk

her: 
erm
ade2

me: 
ok
now
i need 2 know ur status
rly
ko nan him ape cite?

her: 
erm...
takde....
we are frens
anyway
just forget d idea la...
i dun think it can
i myself can never be with u....even if i did love u....

me: 
that's true
n as i told u my heart's wif sum1 else
even if u were 2 bcome my gf pon

her: 
n i noe

me: 
i dun think i'l hav any deep feelings 4 u

her: 
skrg pun...i dun actually love u...
it just
i like u...
i dunno
some crazy idea slip thru my mind
haha

me: 
hahaha
know wut
i oso pnah ask d same q
i mean
i pnah ask sum1 2 bcome my gf
walopon
its d same like tis la
hahaha
nk tau x sape?
:P

her: 
sape?

me: 
teka2
;p

her: 
xxx?
yyy?

me: 
haha pndi ko
xxx 2 of coz la bukan

her: 
yyy?
haha

me: 
apsal tah aritu aku tny yyy
kakakaka

her: 
haha
:p

me: 
n her answer was
if i rly luved hre, she'l gladly accept
but malangnye i dun
kakaka

her: 
i think the same situation is happening to me..haha...
haha
no la
one thing that always in my mind ...
-------------------------------- (removed ;p)
so...there's no way in dis world..ill be ur gf...

me: 
tahu xpe
lgpon
u dun know me
im not good as i may seem
byk setan nih
kakaka

her: 
im not sure...him gud fren ko or not...but...when i was his gf...he trust my frenship with u...as he trust me
haha
ko ingt
ko sorg je setan
haha

me: 
setan aku lg byk daa
lol

her: 
ye la kot
sbbb u r more evil then me
anyway
did u paste our chat dlm ur blog

me: 
x yet
nnt i paste

her: 
jgn..aku tktau la..y..but i cant never think to hurt his feeling more
erm
can u change ur mind...of doing that

me: 
oo
ok
i wont paste it
ala

her: 
tengs jakas
nape?

me: 
kate suh buang name

her: 
apesal nak paste

me: 
bole je aku buang name

her: 
erm

me: 
saje :P

her: 
nak buang..buang la
suka ati la

me: 
aku paste semua from top 2 btm
ok?
hahahaha

her: 
erk
bengong
dush2

me: 
smpi skg nih
lol

her: 
tkmo!!!
haha

me: 
erk
ahahaha

her: 
anyway we're meant to be frens only..
kui3
:p

me: 
gud2
pasted!

her: 
haih...sori ya...for thinking like dat
haha
mengom!!!
dah2...im going home
bye

me: 
bye~
esok cek la blog i k

(abeda :P)